After the first surprise wore off Johnny decided he better get out and try to save me although he hadn't the
faintest idea how or die with me - but then heard a car door open and knew Lulu wasn't surprised any more. Just
as she started though to voice her ear piercing challenge I yelled even louder "Stop it, Lulu! Its Charlotte! STOP, WOMAN!
Then
added in a more normal tone of voice because Lulu quieter down "Its Charlotte and she has send her relations packing telling
them not to come here again if they know what was healthy for them. And I guess they do because they left ever so fast" I
ended with a giggle.
By the time I giggled that Johnny and Dina had also gotten out of the car and Johnny limped over to
me and looked at me with those wonderful eyes of his and whispered with his gorgeous mouth "Peace, Babychick?"
And since
that was what I had waited for all along I hugged him as hard as I could and whispered back "Yes, of course, silly ..." while
all three women - Charlotte had now turned into her female human shape looking quite like a blue skinned blond Sigourney Weaver,
by the way - applauded and laughed.
"There!" Dina even giggled triumphantly "I told you so, sweetie. Just smile at her
and she cant resist you!"
I thought for a moment that she should not learned my little puppy that kind of tricks. But then
giggled myself. Johnny is so very sweet most of the time that it was quite true I cant resist him.
Johnny just gently kissed
my mouth and then looked up at Charlottes face asking "Well, Ms. Perkin-Smythe - my dear Charlotte. What was that suppose
to mean? I thought your relatives had gone back to your home planet after the fourth movie was made - and enrolled in that
there emperor what-his-name's army - so that they wasn't suppose to be hunting humans from around here any more. And especially
not here in our normally so very peaceful little wood!"
Johnny sounded rather mad and aggressive saying the last bit. My
poor baby had got a terrible fright and all the more so because we normally felt so very safe and at home in our civilized
little neck of the world wide woods so now that the danger was passed he felt like lashing out at somebody - and knowing full
well Charlotte loves him very much felt safe enough to yelled at her.
Did I mention he is a bit spoilt too? Or very much
so ... Tshe *O*
And true enough. Charlotte just smiled down - I dont know how tall Ms. Weaver is but Charlotte is
almost two meters - at the lovely boy in front of her. While I must admit I pinched his also rather lovely behind a bit warning
him to behave himself. Since Johnny is normally very sensible beside being charming and spoilt he after a minute relaxed and
smiling sweetly at us all said "Sorry I yelled, Charlotte. But what happened really? Are we going to have to venture out armed
now here in our little world"
Not that arming himself would be a solution anyway. As much as my Johnny love shooting
for fun we all knew he could probably not get himself to shoot another living being unless there was absolute nothing else
to do. Unless of course he panicked and started shooting wildly in all direction in which case he might shoot himself in the
foot or me by mistake and wouldn't like to do either at all ...
But he is most like to try and think the problem through
trying to find the best solution debating with himself if there isn't another way to get out of the fix beside actually killing
somebody and in the mean time the Aliens would probably have started eating my sweetie in great big and perhaps even delicious
- bites! He is delicious, after all -o* But still ...
Cluck !!! He's MY Johnny! If anybodys gonna eat him it'll be me! ... erm - sorry - he *o*
But Charlotte just shook her big blond head of hair and said calmly "Oh, no, they won't come back. And when I
have explained to you why they came I am leaving too and a very stupid Hollywood producer will feel rather sorry
he got this idea in the first place!"
"Hollywood?" Dina asked.
And Johnny said "But - Hollywood ... If they want Johnny
Depp to play in a fifth Alien movie they could just ask him in a normal polite manner Through proper channels and all that
jazz instead of come here - hunting the wrong Johnny down like - like their breakfast!"
But before Charlotte could answer
Lulu said in her quiet fashion "Why don't we all get into the car. The sun might be getting up over there but I am cold. I
will drive you two home first, Meeps and Johnny - so Dina can hear the explanation before she dies of curiosity"
Here
she ducked a half hearted swipe Dina took at her lovers head with a big grin and then added "Not that I am not a little bit
curious myself, I better add for the sake of peace and quiet later. But will you all get in the car, please"
So we
did and she started for Johnny and my house while Charlotte explained.
"You see" she started. "I think it was something
in the fourth movie that gave these guys the idea. The fact that Aliens and humans apparently can interbreed although with
great difficulties So this .. smuck of a producer thought "How about we really find some human DND and make an even smarter
but still very lethal Alien for some other big blockbuster movie to make us all millionaires. If we find a really smart actor
and get him paired up with ..." Yes, well, with me actually I guess ..."
Here I could have sworn Charlotte blushed. But
as she hurriedly looked out the window and Lulu - who has been Charlottes friend for years - at the same time loudly announced
"End of ride. Everybody get out and get lost!" I can't be sure.
Safely seated in our cosy kitchen some moments later Johnny
said while handing out coffee mugs from the cupboard above his head "Please do go on, Charlotte. Though I hate to ask what
has all that got to do with me?"
"Yeah - well" Charlotte said with a little smile for him "The producer might not be so
dumb after all. Because after long and hard deliberation they decided that the smartest actor around in this day and age has
to be Johnny Depp"
Here Johnny of course started to protest -o*
But Charlotte continued 'Somehow they did get it wrong though, Because instead of going after Vanessa Paradis's
man they came here looking for our dear chickens cute little baby rooster. ... unless that is because they figured that you
were easier to get at not having bodyguards or anything like that normally"
Johnny again opened his mouth to protest.
But
Dina giggled "Oh, I dont know about not having gorgeous-body guards. Meeps accidentally - and looking oh, so innocent - tripped
a woman who was a wee bit too interested in Johnny one day by sticking the staff of Magius between said womans mile long legs.
Claiming afterwards that it was the staff who had moved on his own. Silly bird! If you do not call that guarding his body
for her own use later what do you call it !?!"
I quietly wondered what would happen if I poured the rest of the glass of
ice water I was drinking over Dinas blond head. Would Lulu defend her soaking wet girlfriend? And what shape would the defence
take *O*
But then same Lulu said tersely "Well, so would I have done if Marjorie wanted you" Adding with a grin "And
our chick-a-dee might be quite right. The Staff of Magius does love Johnny - has a will of his own like all things having
to do with a certain mage we all know"
Everybody agreed on that with a fond little smile.
Now Johnny again tried
to get a word in sideways but Charlotte thought she knew what he wanted to say and explained "Yes, you might not think or
rather I know you dont think you are so smart. Or that Johnny Depp is. But any guy who can take a role like Jack Sparrow -
and even more so the role of agent Sands and make them into resounding success - crowd pleasers, if ever there was any. Make
those two into men that women want to have sex with and men want to be and sometimes have sex with too - must be a very clever
and able man. You can't argue that, little one"
Here Johnny practically yelled "BUT I am not Depp! I am Meeps' Johnny Sweets
- for clucking out loud!"
This outburst got him a roar of laughter from the four besotted women sitting around the kitchen table. And he
smiled sweetly back at us shaking his head a bit.
"Women are crazy!" I could almost hear him think. Then he hugged me
with one arm and kissed my cheek and finally smiled broadly saying "I am so glad you are all my friends"
And so are we.
After
a bit more talk back and forth Charlotte stretched wearily and said with a yawn "Maybe I better get going before they decide
to send more of my relatives this way. I am pretty sure that once I have explained matters to the people in Sillywood - erm,
Hollywood - they'll see sense though"
I sighed and nodded - being too polite to outright shiver - and very happy she
was not going to explain anything to me in her very own unique way. Charlotte can be so very sweet and I do love her. But
when she shape shift into her Alien role I am always on my best behaviour around her so as not to get my head bitten off -
literally ...
She would be so very sorry afterwards but her fierce nature which she inherited from her maternal great grandmother
sometimes gets the better off her. I wonder actually how her daddy who is a shape shifter from Xracz survives being married
to her mum - but they have been together for 25 years now and is still happily going on being so.
Charlotte was leaving
but Lulu and Dina decided that since they had already being driving several hours earlier in the night coming home from Lulu's
Mum - and as Lulu grumbled; Johnny and I might need help later if the other Aliens did come back after all - it would perhaps
be safer for all parties if they slept in our guest room, And maybe even visited for a couple of days.
So we all went outside
to say goodbye to Charlotte. She had come earlier in her own car to warn us and that was still parked at the side of the road
out front.
When she had come to the house she asked for Johnny and I explained that he had walk into the wood
just a few moments ago and was probably heading for own friends house. So we decided it would be faster to take the narrow
foot path to catch up with him instead of driving around the long way.
Having all the luck of the Irish and then some
my darling boy had of course been saved even without our help *o* He doesn't need any good luck charm, I think - he
is one on his own and for me too.
But now Charlotte got into her red convertible and was about to go when three bikes roared
up in front of our house making Lulu mumble "What now?" and Johnny giggle "Aliens don't ride motorbikes, luv' Nor normally
at least"
And it wasn't Aliens. It turned out as they removed their helmets to be three lovely young women. One stepped
in front of the others and said in a sharp tone of voice "Johnny Depp?"
I shook my head wondering for a moment why the He.. I chose Johnny Depp as the blue print for my fictional fellow
instead of say George Clooney or Russell Crowe or ...
O.K. I know why -o* And he's worth all the trouble he gets me
in!
Anyway I answered as politely as I could "No. I am sorry. He doesnt live here. He lives in ... As a matter of fact
I don't know where he is in the world. But if you'll wait a minute I'll get his agent's address for you and you can ask her
- she might know. Or else there are some very wonderful web sites I can recommend where people might be up-to-date about
his where abouts"
As I turned to go inside and find what I had promise them one of the women said sharply "But he's right
there! Come on! You can't fool us! And the bartender at the Cross Eyed Dragon said when shown his photo that he lives here
at 1313 Burton Avenue"
Johnny - my Johnny, that is - looked both a bit exasperated and confused from one to another and
said slowly "No, I am not Mr. Depp - only look somewhat like him. But Nicki McFee - the owner and bartender at that
place - was probably too tired this time of night to notice that you didn't want me but Johnny Depp. What do you want
with him anyway? You are Charlie's Angels, I know. So if Jo... - erm - Mr. Depp is to be offered a role in your next
movie you should talk to his agent as Meepsie suggests"
"A role?" the smallest of the Angels said wondering but a bit more
polite. Then added "No, we want to offer him a job. Charlie is retiring - he has been around for quite some time now - and
we have decide to buy the firm from him and start up for ourselves. Women do it for themselves now a days"
"You must be
crazy!" Lulu said slowly making us all turned and look at her and the Angels look rather angry. So before World War Two-and-a-half
between all these hard hitting and kicking - women could start in our front garden I hurried up and asked "Why do you say
that, Lulu?" hoping like He.. - that there warm place down below the Christians tells us about - that her answer would be
just a bit more polite than her former statement.
She sent me a wry little smirk probably guessing what I wanted form
her and then said looking at the three young women in the road "YOU would settle for Johnny Depp's voice - only his voice,
mind - in a set of loudspeakers? Only hear the sexiest man in this Universe's voice - when said voice ain't
even half of his charm, my dear girls?"
That brought on a roar of laughter - and a blushing "Really - Lulu!!" from Johnny
- and eased the tension marvellously. And Dina added while hugging the embarrassed boy "But it is a sexy voice too!"
Then Lulu sontinued seriously "And if you really claim women are doing it for themselves now a days - and
I am certainly all for that - then why do you want a man giving the orders anyway. He is ever so wonderful - but why
not having him work as an equal with you instead of lording it over you telling you what to do and where to go. If he is just
half as sweet as Meepsie's darling here he wouldn't mind that at all. Rather welcome it instead"
After that in my opinion
rather sound advice I got the addresses for the Angels and they went on their merry way in a fume of exhaust
and so much noise I wish I had got my earplugs as well as Tracy Jacob's address in the kitchen.
They wasn't quite sure though what they would do concerning Johnny Depp - wanted to meet him first, they
said.
And in doing that they would probably fall head over heels in love with him as almost all women - and quite a number
of men - seem to do, I thought -o* But kept that thought to myself so my baby boy didn't have to blush
even more *O*
